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Crackberry Confessions: Damn Contacts


There are three things that really suck when you where contact lenses:

  1. You can see when you go to bed
  2. You can’t see when you leave for work
  3. You can half see when you go to work

1. There were several instances when I do my nightly ritual, and hit the sack. Then I realize the picture across the room is clear as day. Nothing is fuzzy, I can see everything. FUCK, I didn’t take out my contact lenses. Now I have to get out of my comfy bed and take my contacts out in that freezing ass bathroom.

2. I am all dressed, packed, and ready to go to work. As I approach the door, I notice that things are kinda fuzzy. FUCK! I didn’t put my contacts in . Then I have to trek my ass all the way up the stairs and put my damn contacts in so I can see past my fucking nose.

3. Today was rather interesting. I get up, get ready to do my thing, and I notice things look a little fuzzy. Not too fuzzy, just a little fuzzy. I cover my left eye…no problems. I cover my right eye, nothing but a haze! I try the cover-your-eyes bit again. Same results. Then I go upstairs and start staring at my eye in the mirror. Now I can easily tell I have a contact in my right eye but checking out my left eye is difficult. First my left eye sight is hazy. Second a hazy eye plus a not hazy eye equals shit fuck vision where you can’t tell what is what. After staring for a while, I figured there was no contact in there. Now where the fuck it went I have no clue, but I had to crack open a new case.

Stupid contacts!

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